(M.A.D)
Life is a strange roller coaster ride… it soars you high and then drops you down ,low… so low, flips and rushes you till you are not even sure which way was right , till you forget all sense of direction, till you are screaming wanting it to stop screwing you up, but no it doesn’t ! Flipping you repeatedly, blurring every possible notion, and dousing you in an adrenaline filled ecstasy…
And then when you start enjoying the ride; it stops… so suddenly… you’re left bereft!
They say the first time always leaves a lasting impression, you are young and oh so innocent… the first time your heart gave a slight tug.
…the first guy who made your heartbeat go erratic…
…the first time your class teacher scolded you for home work not done…
…the feeling of escalation… of lightness…when you whisper secrets in the dead of night…
…the first time you bunked classes to watch movies with friends…
…your first fumbling footsteps into the maze of real life…
…your very first brush with Death…
It was so ironic she had taken the only thing for granted which never gave a second chance….
Sitting on the parapet of the terrace Anu peered down at the people strolling, laughing so carelessly, holding hands, children running about enjoying the nice quiet evening with their loved ones, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to laugh again, it seemed such a foreign emotion! A sacrilege to Her very memories! How could she deserve to live this life when someone’s had just been snatched so mercilessly… one who loved life, one who so appreciated its all colors…
Unconsciously her mind drifted to the start of the term, when everything was so simple…
Apr 19, 2004 (flashback)
9:17pm
“Gods! Do you believe it Reshma …. So much work!
1000 MCQS for Biology
1000 MCQS for Physics
1000 MCQS for Chemistry,
due next Monday for coaching…
And yeah we can’t forget that stupid Physics test for class,
Read organic chemistry,
Complete the whole bloody exercise on Integral calculus…
I mean don’t you think they are slave driving us into a nervous breakdown or something…
Actually who expects all these to be actually completed at all! That too in five bloody days! I just have a feeling it’s all a part of some ongoing conspiracy, An ‘I-am-going-to-make-my-students-slog-so-hard-that-they-die-of-nervous-breakdown’ conspiracy!
I tell you Reshma, at the end of this ; one of us is surely going to end up mad or maybe who knows , dead ! !” Anu muttered darkly from her study table.
“Stop being a Drama Queen and study, that would maybe help out better than your emo outbursts, Nautanki!”The ever pragmatic Reshma had learned to live with her over-the –top roomie and not mind these frequent bouts of whining.
The once timid 11thies had graduated into confident 12thies and had been allotted their own flat.
The Shyamalian flat or more popularly called SF. It housed:
Room 1:
Anumeha Awasthy: XII ‘J’ (Bio-Math)
(Short, Slim, Fair, Very Emo and a powerhouse in herself, Anu never did anything halfheartedly! She either loved you or she simply hated your very existence… in-betweens were not for this Red Hot Chillie of the flat)
Reshma Singh: XII ‘J’ (Bio-Math)
(Plump, fair, Tomboyish Reshma was the exact opposite of Anu! The ever practical, ever pragmatic, Reshma was very shrewd and always in check of her emotions)
Room 2
Kanika Verma: XII ‘J’ (Bio-Math)
(Chubby, Fair, Doe-eyed Kanika was as girlish as the Barbie dolls that she loved to play with! A purple freak, Kanika ate purple, slept purple, lived purple! Before meeting her nobody had realized the importance of colors in life especially… yeah purple!)
Vaishali Shekhar: XII ‘M’ (Math-Comp)
(Dusky, plump Vaishali lived in a dreamland of her own and rarely came out of it. Being Kanika’s BFF since preschool they gelled well .)
Room 3:
Prerna Sharma: XII ‘B’ (Bio-Math)
(Tall, fair and well proportioned to her height Prerna was as charming as they came, she could wrap you around her fingers without you ever realizing it. She was the mother hen of the group… always keeping the situations under control and planning new pranks to play on the resident evil ,Cruella Mcbitch)
Anamika Roy: XII ‘B’ (Bio-Math)
(Timid, very shy and soft spoken Anamika was the Baby of the group, who rarely ventured out without Prerna)
Our favorite the Kitchen Wala Room
Rakshita Kamal: XII’E’(Math-Eco)
(Short, fair, slim and the self professed Beauty of the gang. Rakshita was the typical girl personified. With her ‘Chikne-chikne gaal and kaale-kaale baal’ she was every beauty cream company’s dream come true!
It was really very simple, you had a beauty disaster… like a sudden attack by pimples, you went to Rakshita, your hair is limp and lifeless, and it’s Rakshita to rescue! )
This was the raunchiest group ‘Pranav’ had ever witnessed in its history. Some unnamed resources even whispered that even the Evil Mcbitch was scared to take them to task!
19th December, 2004 (present)
8:30pm
Snorting at the thought, yes they did create history… dint they? ‘Pranav’ definitely saw something that its walls had never witnessed… hell! It was not supposed to end up like this…
She jumped down from the parapet she had been sitting on, walking back inside slowly. She had to keep up appearances of normalcy though it had been anything but…
It was almost dinner time and if she missed it again, there would be lot of questions to answer to…
They said she was completely over-reacting… maybe losing it as well? Hell !she didn’t know it herself… she just did not know anything these days… it was always the guilt crawling up eating up her insides, killing her slowly… painfully…. Nobody could really understand it, not even her parents… or maybe they could but chose to ignore it quietly…
Washing up the tears that had rolled down unbeknownst to her, she stared at the mirror looking at the unknown girl staring back with those puffed up red eyes…
She was yet again propelled into another of those memories, memories of another era, of another time when she actually recognized the girl in the mirror…
25th April, 2004.(flashback)
10:00 am
Lining her bucket before the single bathroom that the seven of them shared, Anu looked up groggily at Kanika preening before the mirror, parting her hair once to the left, then right, again left…
“What is the matter Nika? Why are you acting like Rakshita? Finally inspired are we?“ Anu walked up to her, then she added slyly, ”or someone caught your fancy, hmm?”
Surprisingly Kanika blushed a deep red, “Oh! It’s nothing actually… it’s just that I have Chemistry practicals today!”
“So do I? Remember we are in the same class, Kaju… And why are you getting ready especially, for Chemistry lab?” Anu asked baffled, “or has it to do something with the lab partner?” she added comprehension dawning finally.
“Shut up! Not it’s nothing like that… he’s just a sweet guy, on the retrospect I highly doubt you would have ever noticed any guy, even if he was right under your nose! Miss Bookworm“, Kanika retorted back.
Yeah the jab had hit the bull’s eye, it was Anu’s turn to get outraged, “Whatever! Kaju I do notice guys alright! And my choice is way way cuter than yours…” realizing finally she had walked into a trap, horror-struck Anu shut her mouth abruptly, but of course the damage had been done and Kanika pounced upon the opportunity as a hungry lion does upon the poor doe.
Not waiting to be interrogated further Anu ran for dear life dashing to the bathroom and peace.
19th December, 2004 (present)
10:30 pm
She was brought back from her reverie by loud banging on the bathroom door, realizing where she was, Anu quickly opened the door and walked away, eyes downcast not looking up at the concerned eyes of an equally haggard Kanika.
Walking past the dark silent room, that once was always full of lights, laughter and merriment Anu stopped suddenly and looked at it longingly… did she dare? She hadn’t stepped on its threshold since that fateful night… did she dare do the unthinkable? “No I mustn’t… Past should stay in past, why am I being such a glutton to pain… why am I being such an emotional masochist? “, yet these thoughts dint stop her from unlocking the door.
As soon as she stepped in the memories seemed to rush at her from all sides, unable to stand the impact she fell on Anamika’s dusty forgotten bed sobbing softly she was thrown head on to yet another torturous memory.
27th April, 2004 (flashback)
10:30 pm
Anu was sitting contently on the floor in Prerna/Anamika’s shared room, with her head on Prerna’s lap who was oiling and massaging her long tresses giving her the Prerna special ‘Tel-maalish’ listening to Anu complain about her horrible day at school which was not such an unusual occurrence as far as Anu was concerned.
“ …. And you know when I entered class, I heard these guys in my class suddenly start reciting that nursery rhyme,
‘Machhli jal ki rani hai, jeevan uska paani hai… and blah blah blah..’
remember that one…
Well whatever I heard them sing this particular rhyme, not waiting to think why though... Since it’s not that abnormal for them to spout childish rhymes suddenly, after all they are boys and we can’t expect boys to behave like mature intelligent adults now, can we? But no! Those morons were singing no cut that, Teasing ME in particular with that awfully juvenile poem!
Apparently Sunanda had heard one of them telling someone that they had nick-named ME ‘MACCHLI’!!!! Can you imagine that!!”, At this Anu had risen from her place and was pacing furiously on the floor, giving vent to her scaringly violent temper, as both Prerna and Anamika watched her, amused at the outburst.
“How dare they call me by such vile atrocious names? I mean, Did I go ask them to? No!
Did I tease any one of them ever? No!
Did I ever interfere into their matter? No!
Do I resemble a fish by any degree? I certainly have no scales on my body or any fins sprouting behind my back…
I stay still in class, do not talk to any of those… those… those Jerks but noooo! Out of 25 girls in the whole class,
Who is their favorite dartboard? It’s Anumeha Awasthy!
And then there was this thing with Kanika… That conniving little devil finally wheedled out…”
“About Anu’s little crush!” Anu’s not so little monologue was cut short at this and all eyes darted towards the devil Anu was referring to not so long ago, smiling angelically at them.
‘Crush!’ echoed Prerna and Anamika simultaneously now very interested at the development of things.
“Here goes my din ka chain and raaton ki neend down the gutter!
Ek kam thi kya? Now all of them together will pester the life out of me!” sighed Anu resignedly, closing her eyes and clutching her forehead with her hands exasperatedly.
“Yes! Apparently our dear Anu has been keeping secrets from us…now we cannot allow that to happen anymore, Right?”, Kanika was enjoying Anu’s discomfiture immensely.
“Who’s he?” cried both the girls in unison, “Anu! Into a guy? Hard to believe yaar!”
Kanika cleared her throat theatrically, “Well! Miss Anumeha Awasthy crushes on one Aditya Sharma!” Pausing for effect of her declaration, she continued again, “and since I totally agree with her claim that he’s so much cuter than Omi, what with brown hair and hazel eyes to die for, patent rights to such a cute boy cannot be exclusively handed over to Miss Awasthy here and so I want my share! After all best friends are supposed to share now, aren’t they?”
Anu was completely bowled over by this complete turn of events, jaw hanging open she looked at Kanika wide eyed, not knowing whether to laugh or cry at her friend’s impassioned declaration.
On the other hand the other girls clapped, cackling in complete delight, “Modern day Draupadi!! This is certainly going to be interesting!!”
23rd December, 2004 (present)
3:30 pm
It was a free period yet again; she hated free periods with a vengeance nowadays. It gave her a lot of things to think about and she just didn’t want to think about anything anymore… thoughts , memories, ideas nothing were her own now, however hard she tried to extricate herself from this quicksand of bittersweet memories, she found herself deeper in them each time. Her very existence seemed to come to a stand-still.
Even Sneha had come to her wit’s end trying to pull Anu out if this abyss of inky black depression, and it was not as if Anu didn’t try, Anu had tried each and every suggestion meticulously… whatever Sneha asked her to, but nothing seemed to work.
Nothing worked on her nowadays, she was still slipping through Sneha’s fingers, and poor Sneha was helpless watching her best friend break before her very eyes.
Anu looked back at her notebook open before her trying to concentrate on the words, desperately trying to grasp their meaning, but comprehension was still elusive as ever.
18th August, 2004 (flashback)
3:30pm
Anu sat beside Kanika who was busy making goo-goo eyes at ‘their’ latest crush.
It was a free period and Anu simply loved these stolen moments of fun and masti. Nobody could blame her for shirking work though she had already completed that day’s assignments in her previous classes, she was a multi-tasker, and her reading speed was exemplary thank you very much!
“You know we can’t go about calling him A.S all the time in class, someone is bound to make out two and two and guess his name, God forbid! What if he comes to know about ‘US’!” Kanika spoke her eyes still glued on the topic of conversation.
“Hmm! Yeah A.S is too risky.” Anu pondered,
“Hold on! What if we reverse his initials and call him S.A? Actually as I think further, S.A is perfect! I’ve always wanted to marry someone with initials same as the parts of our heart you know, like
SA- Sino Atrial node
RA- Right Auricle
AV- Aurio Ventricular node
LV- Left Auricle
etc…
This is just so romantic, ‘SA you are a part of my heart!’….” Anu was now practically bouncing at the very idea.
“SA is a part of everybody’s heart! If this is your idea of romance I really am scared for the guy who has to marry you, which my A.S most certainly won’t be! No Way in hell am I going to let you name my poor baby S.A!
I am not a Biology major but even if I was, I would have never ever named my sweetheart after some completely bizarre and borderline scary scientific nomenclature!” Kanika replied outraged at the suggestion.
Grumbling at her outburst, Anu again fell into silent contemplation staring at the poor guy sitting a few feet away talking merrily to his friends unaware of playing such a prominent role in the completely weird drama ensuing between these two over-imaginative girls.
“Aha! What if we call him DIA? It’s an anagram for ADI, you know! after his name , Aditya .And this way I don’t think even he would be able to guess its him, we are talking about”, Anu finally came up with the name looking victoriously at Kanika daring her to find any fault with this masterpiece of hers.
Kanika burst into raucous laughter at this name, singing
“Silsila ye chahat ka na maine bujhne DIA, O piya, Ye dia…” wherein Anu joined in
“Na bujha hai na bujhega meri chahat ka ye DIA…”
Both girls breaking into peals of laughter simultaneously…
23rd decemeber, 2004 (present)
4:30pm
Tears were freely flowing from her eyes and she made no attempt to hide them, it was useless anyways. She looked up at the students getting up and packing their bags as the final bell for dismissal rang, she sat at her place unmoving looking for the first time at DIA after, well after Her…..
She silently stared at him packing his bags, so innocent, so untouched by the dark cloud that hovered over her. She couldn’t dream of ever tainting that pure air of his by her presence ever. Maybe once upon a time she thought herself worthy of him but now… never would she ever cast her bleak shadow over such a happy existence. Suddenly he looked up from his packing and smiled a tentative smile towards her, her heart clenched as she turned her head away without reciprocating his silent gesture. “No I can never do this, Never! I do not deserve happiness, not when she did not even get a chance of knowing these very emotions!, just seventeen! Oh why god why?”, with guilt-ridden conscience Anu stealthily gathered her belongings and rushed out of the class.31st December, 2004 (present)
10:00pm
C.M had invited them all downstairs at her flat for the New Year’s Eve Party. Anumeha, Reshma, Kanika, Vaishali, Rakshita all were gathered in her Drawing room as she offered them seats and sweets. Anu couldn’t help noticing two glaring vacant seats, Anamika and Prerna…
As she looked at each girl she observed each one’s face, haggard, dull, pale with dark circles around there eyes… everyone looks so similar in their grief… each one of them was mourning the loss in their own way, all eyes were a bit swollen and puffy, each one’s demeanor subdued… so wrapped up in her own depression was she, that she never bothered to know how others were handling it.
But these very faces were once so full of life, so full of mischief that night… each eye had mirth swimming in its very depth that night when CM had called them all downstairs just like today… that day…
9th September, 2004 (flashback)
10:00pm
They were all summoned to Mcbitch’s headquarters! In their fun and dancing celebrating Vaishali birthday they had completely forgotten their high decibel levels. And now it was time for retribution… Lord save them but Mcbitch sounded enraged!
Standing in a semicircle with heads bowed down, they were silently contemplating how to get out of this situation with minimum causalities. Mcbitch was notorious for her lectures, and no don’t get fooled by the word ‘lecture’ it was never that sabhya in the first place. She usually started with insulting your parents degrading further to calling names and what not! Certainly not for innocent ears…
“Kya re tum log kya sochin thi, baap ka ghar hai? Humlog tumhare naukar hain yahan? Nai nai bolo? Kya baat hai Prerna bhow bahut tan rahe hain tumhare?”
“God how much I hate her! Bitch bitch bitch… is this any way to talk to respected people…?
Don’t worry Cruella, you won’t know what hit you when I am done with you! You certainly won’t forget it either!” these were the thoughts uppermost in Anu’s mind when suddenly she grabbed her head and started hyperventilating, rapidly breathing and trying to gulp as much air as possible she fell down on the floor before anybody could react at the sudden turn of events.
Anumeha had suffered a minor problem of asthma as a kid and the doctor had advised her to stay away from extreme emotional or mental shocks. As a guardian to her for the next two years Mrs. Mukherjee had been informed of this, even though it had never resurfaced for the past 12 years.
Every soul present in the room was horror-struck staring at the now unconscious girl on the floor. As Anu’s guardian it was Mrs. Mukherjee duty to inform her parents now and call for medical assistance at the earliest but it seemed she had gone numb! unable to move…
All the girls rushed at Anu’s side, Prerna taking her head on her lap trying to revive her with water when Anu opened her one eye, peering at Prerna who was the closest to her, silently communicating her elaborate act and promptly closed her eyes back feigning unconsciousness again. Assured of her well being and finding the situation suddenly reversed to their advantage Prerna deposited Anu to other girls’ care and sauntered towards Mcbitch’s side,
“Aunty what will we do now? What if it’s something serious? We must call the doctor at once! Anu’s mum dad need to be informed too… Admitted that they will be fuming at her condition, that too at your hands! After all she has never had an attack this severe even as a child… but what’s to be done… needs to be done now… though I really really hope nothing’s serious”, she was looking closely at Mcbitch’s now colorless face enjoying the situation too much.
Mrs. Mukherjee knew Anu’s dad was a very powerful lawyer in the high court and well she was suddenly not very comfortable with the development of situation,” I g..g..guess I really c..c..can’t do anything else ‘cept calling the doc.. doctor now…?” C.M stuttered and stammered through the sentence.
Seeing the situation could escalate out of control if the doctor did arrive, Anu slowly moaned and groaned her way to consciousness, “mmmm mummy…. Ahhhh mummy… I can’t breathe.. ahhhh !” coughing and wheezing all the way.
Mcbitch suddenly brightened at the prospect of no doctor and rushed to Anu’s side, caressing her face, her hair, embracing her tight as if she was her long lost daughter reunited after years!
They had returned back to their flat upstairs in barely controlled peals of laughter as Prerna explained the whole ploy to the other girls… it was fun watching Mcbitch receive a dose of her own medicine back and now the girls couldn’t let go of the memory of her reaction, doubling over in mirth just visualizing her face.
31st December, 2004 (present)
11:00pm
She was jolted out of her thoughts as CM continued,
“….listen all of you I know how you feel, believe me it hasn’t been easy for me either, I never was faced with such a situation ever,
You have to overcome this phase, and you have to move on, you can’t let this destroy you. You girls are alive and thriving young things ...Buck up! Laugh, Sing, Dance embrace life with open arms… I just cannot watch all of you shrivel and die away at this minor setback!
Tomorrow as a New Year starts I want all of you to resolve to start a new fresh start and accept whatever comes your way with an open mind…!”
The girls barely listened her words of advice, it was impossible for them to heed her in anyway after all that she had done… but then neither did they have to the energy left to retort back anything… they quietly listened her jabber, and when it was all over, made their way back to their own rooms, their own sanctuary…
1st January, 2005 (present)
12:03 am
The flat was silent as a grave. The girls all quiet were in their rooms, sitting before open books pretending to study, though studies were the last thing on their minds that night…
They were all bidding a goodbye to the past year, reliving each and every bittersweet memory it gave them though it ended with a sharp twang of a very bitter, very harsh ending for each of them.
Anu sat in Prerna’s room, frozen… Staring out of the window, at the fireworks… the merriment… the happiness…
Even the Moon seemed extra bright… illuminating the room with its silvery glow…
She silently willed Prerna to come back… just once! To at least allow her to say sorry,
to forgive her…
“You can’t do this to me Prerna! I do not deserve such a harsh punishment… I cannot wallow in this self disgust anymore.I atleast deserve a chance at penance… I am so sorry…so sorry.” Anu cried heartbroken, sobbing hard…
hiccupping, “Do not hate me please… please…”,
It was so impossible to believe that she won’t come back…it seemed like she would be back any moment banging the door open and throwing her bags about…
29th September, 2004 (flashback)
10:30 pm
“Don’t you think Prerna is spending too much time frolicking around, buying dresses left, right and centre?
Kabhi GEL church complex, kabhi outing with her new found friends, kabhi party! I mean alright she has made new friends, it’s her life and has all the right to have fun… but isn’t she supposed to study as well? Boards are just a few months away; she has left her coaching classes, bunks classes almost every day!
I don’t think her parents are even aware of what their daughter is up to these days… As her friends aren’t we supposed to at least show her the right path?”Anumeha confided into Reshma worriedly.
They were sitting on the floor in their room, books spread out in all directions.
“It is none of our business, Anu. I don’t think she would appreciate your interference.” Reshma tried to reason with her.
But Anu was always known for her stubborn streak, it got into her head once means it needs to be done either way…
Standing up, she made her way to the door when she suddenly stopped,
There was Prerna standing on their doorstep fuming,
“How dare you bitch behind my back Anumeha Awasthy?
How dare you! I don’t think it concerns you in any way, who I spend my time with, what I spend it doing and whether I study or not!
Last I checked you are neither my mother nor my father and I certainly do not want you to act as one suddenly! So keep your nose out of my affairs and yes Stay within your limits!”, She shouted at, now a very pale Anu.
Recovering very fast Anu shouted back, “acting Miss High and Mighty are we? I am out of mu limits, am I? It’s you who is out of control! You are bloody wasting your parents’ money on your frivolities. Just look at yourself! How much have you changed these past few weeks…”
“Stop shouting at me! You are not my mom!”
“You stop shouting! I don’t want to be associated with the likes of you… Out of my room now. Get.Out !!” Anu shrieked with barely controlled anger as Prerna marched out of the room banging the room hard.
“You shouldn’t have said all those nasty things to her. Prerna was hurt! Mighty hurt if I may say so… Anu you are at fault here… No… I know your intentions were good, but the way you handled the situation was very insensitive, she is going through a rough time, her dad’s stuck in some kinda controversy, her kid bro broke his arm… this is her way of handling situations and you shouldn’t have shouted at her at all…
Go and apologize to her!” Reshma was trying to make the stubborn girl see reason for the past half an hour, but to no avail, Anu was unmoved in her fury.
“You egotistical prat! You will regret your adamancy some day!” Reshma said as she huffed out of the room leaving Anu behind to cool off by herself.
The next day by the mirror, as Anu was getting ready to go to school she chanced a glance at Prerna who too was readying herself for yet again some outing, this time taking Anamika along with her. Anu was still busy staring at her contemplating whether to apologize or not... she had realized later at night that yes she did lash out too rudely which was completely uncalled for, when Prerna sashayed out of the flat with Anamika in tow…
“koi nai! I will apologize at night, when everybody is settled back peacefully…” thinking along these lines she too rushed through her toilette dashing to school as usual.
As she came back from school, she found the whole apartment in a furore ; A very nervous energy palpable in its very walls…
Confused and slightly disoriented, she walked into her flat to be met by a very agitated Rakshita. Before she could utter a single word, Rakshita spoke,
“Prerna and Anamika are missing! Some say they have been abducted, some say they have been raped and murdered… I am very scared Anu! Where are Reshma and Kanika?”
Those few words had sent a chill down her spine. Numb with shock Anu just stuttered,
“wha… What?”
Kanika and Reshma rushed in from behind her in the same state of unbelief etched into their faces; apparently they had heard the news downstairs.
“Nobody knows anything for sure! Don’t believe the worst already! You know Prerna na… Maybe she went to visit her Local Guardian and took Anamika along.” Reshma spoke, though her eyes told a different story. All of them knew C.M would contact the LG, the first thing if someone goes missing.
The girls spent all the time huddled in a single room, comforting each other, cracking lame jokes trying to relieve the tension and waiting patiently for any news of their whereabouts. Anu knew in the heart of her heart that this just couldn’t be true, Of course it couldn’t be, “Aisa ho hi nai sakta, such things happen to other people, not people like us, it happens in storybooks, in movies… And everybody knows that movies are just a projection of your fantasy… they are not the real world, Right? We are all over-reacting!” she silently chided herself.
They were all growing restless and after the brief dinner where none of them actually touched the food, they retired into their rooms, convincing themselves at the uselessness of believing such utter impossible gossip.
Anu was woken at 3:30am by an unearthly howl of pain, completely disoriented she peered in the darkness at Reshma’s bed, it was vacant! Walking out of her room cautiously she was met by a sight that which she could never forget, try as much she want…
There on the hall floor was Prerna’s father, crying , howling screaming in sorrow, mumbling incoherently all the time as he folded each of her clothes into a bundle. Everyone was there, crying softly as he continuously repeated,
“My daughter, My only daughter, Mera bachha…” occasionally looking wildly about him and again falling into heart-wrenching sobs.
Anu stood at her doorstep, watching him. She had never witnessed a grown up cry, let alone mourn… this terrified her to the core. It did not need one to be a rocket scientist to guess what had happened! But this couldn’t be… her heart had repeatedly told her it just couldn’t happen…
How long he stayed there crying screaming in agony, they did not know… how long the girls stood there crying silently… they did not know… and now it was dawn breaking.
Mr. Sharma had packed all the clothes into a bag, but there were so many things left… and he did not have any more energy left to punish himself with her memories any longer.
A man completely broken, a man who had to carry his young daughter’s dead body, he was a man who had aged a hundred years in a matter of ten hours and now this old man needed rest…
“I am taking Prerna home, I have to collect her body from the morgue tomorrow… you girls will sort through her things and keep it packed, will you?” he choked out looking at each one of them imploringly.
The girls could do nothing except nod. All were as if suspended in a limbo, no idea of what was going on, why it was going on…
Vaishali suddenly spoke aloud, “Uncle! Anamika?”
“She is missing.” He replied in a clipped tone and left them standing there, shell-shocked!
Anu sat on Prerna’s bed that morning sorting through her things, where Rakshita piled them up neatly, when suddenly she cried,
“Look Prerna’s personal diary! She always wrote in it.”
Both of the girls skimmed through the entries, stopping at the very last one…
“29th September, 2004
11:30pm
I hate Anumeha Awasthy. She is the most obnoxious person I have ever met. I don’t think I could ever forgive her.”
Anumeha felt as if someone had punched her in the gut… hard! She stared at the diary frozen… Rakshita stealthily took matters in her hand and tore away the last entry from the diary before Anu had a chance to react,
“What did you do?” Anu exclaimed.
“Be practical! Nobody knows this apart from us and well, Prerna…
We both know you guys had a verbal spat the night before she died, a perfectly normal verbal spat between two teenagers… But do you think the Police would think the same? Prerna’s death is being handled as a Murder Case right now and the Police are notorious for twisting facts and proofs.
Did you not hear how coldly Uncle replied when asked about Anamika’s whereabouts? He suspects her, everybody is in the dark as to what happened yesterday and believe me you won’t want to get entangled into this mess!!!
Do you honestly believe that, that timid scared rabbit of a girl Anamika , can actually ever do anything malevolent or remotely hurtful especially murder? And that too for no apparent reason at all!!
I for one do not believe in this baseless blame game going on, So Let.Me.Do.This and STOP QUESTIONING”, Rakshita countered.
Anu had never taken all of this into consideration, and to be honest she did not want to think anything at all… She welcomed the feeling of blankness sweeping in from all directions… but that one statement just did not let go of her mind…
“I can never forgive her!”
1st January, 2005 (present)
9:00 am
Anu woke up with a start at the sound of the doorbell ringing incessantly; she realized she had fallen asleep on the floor in Prerna’s room last night. Groggily she walked to the main door wondering all the way as to where were the other girls.
“Anamika!” there she was standing before her!
All the girls rushed out of their rooms hearing Anu exclaim and surrounded the girl, pulling her inside, hugging her tight!
“Where were you? We were so worried? What happened?” there was a barrel of questions shot towards her.
Anamika slowly walked into her room as every girl followed her in.
Finally she sat on her bed and looked about as everybody else looked expectantly at her,
“I was at home all these days, I know you all are wondering what happened that day, and I also know that you guys did not believe on those rumours for even a second.
That day Prerna had to go to the bank and since even I had some work there, I tagged along. After our work in the bank was completed, we strolled into an unused water plant…
It was quite big and beautiful! In a terrifying sort of way… A sludge pond in the middle surrounded by steep slanted cement slopes…” at this she paused as if shuddering at the very thought!
Continuing she said, “ Prerna went and seated herself at the edge of that slope, I tried to reason with her, tried to stop her from sitting there… I was beginning to get panicky and the slope looked so slippery… but she wouldn’t listen to me, she was like ‘ Be a lil bold Anamika, what are you scared for?’
The more animatedly she spoke the more was I getting restless… the whole area was so morose, so quiet and then suddenly her left sandal slipped into the pond below! And before I could warn her she lost balance and fell into it herself !!!
Anamika was now very agitated she choked and cried but continued,
“ she was crying and shouting for help,calling my name asking me to come get her out, but I didn’t know swimming and the pond was not water at all it was mud, it was a quicksand! I was baffled I was shouting for help crying and shouting but nobody came… nobody was there… the whole area was deserted… I felt so helpless, there was my best friend , my room mate drowning before my very eyes and I was helpless!
Somebody save her! Help ! help! I threw my sandals and ran barefoot calling for help.. I ran all the way to S.O.P! I begged of the shopkeepers to help me… Prerna… there… drowning… help! Help! But nobody seemed to pay me attention, nobody cared Anu! I shouted and screamed but nobody listened! I ran all the way here, panting and running to aunty! Aunty please help! Prerna… is drowning… I was crying and crying, they asked me to calm down! How could I calm down? How could I My room mate is dying there, she needs help and I am here…”
“ Aunty hid me in her flat, nobody went to get her, I failed her, I left her alone… Aunty called my LG and overnight I was packed back to home, to Sasaram!”
Anamika was now like a woman possessed… screaming and shouting pulling her hair.
Anu looked at the stricken girl and thought “there she is with all her pent up agony, her horror, her guilt and she did not have anyone to share them with, she had none of us to comfort her, support her, nobody whom she could confide into…
This girl had been living a hell all these days and I was wallowing in my own selfish grief! My guilt, my baggage is nothing compared to the one Anamika is living everyday… she who had seen Prerna drown before her own eyes…”
25th March, 2005
11:00 am
As Anu stood before her car, packed with all her belongings now, almost ready to leave…
She looked back at ‘Pranav’ one last time!
Two years back she was deposited here as a innocent bubbly girl with sky high ambition and myriad dreams of a bright future, of happiness, of love, of life…
Did she get em all?
Now stood in her place a girl who was wounded, far far battle weary than she had ever expected herself to ever be, a skeptic…
A matured woman…
After Anamika’s arrival they slowly struggled into normalcy, for the sake of the scarred Anamika, for the sake of their own futures…
Battling pre-boards and now finally boards, Anumeha was now ready to leave the past there and move on and forget about this place, forget about the people here…
Anu looked up at the sky,
“One day maybe I would be ready to accept them back,
One day maybe I would be able to embrace these memories,
One day maybe I will forgive myself,
One day maybe I will be able to share these memories… one day maybe…
But one thing is certain, I can never forget you Prerna, you will be there somewhere always inside me, my inspiration to take life as it comes and live it to the fullest, whether good, bad, worse or the best… Because this is my only chance and I will live it for the both of us”
 |
| yea... maybe someday... |
ps: All Characters places and events described in this story are completely fictional, any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely co-incidental. ;)
